Dear Beck
by jchamberz
Summary: "Dear Beck, I will NEVER forget you... even if I tried. I'm sorry." BAT oneshot, possibly a twoshot if requested?


_Dear Beck,_

Her handwriting was so beautiful – so unique. His heart fell the instant he saw it, even though there was no name written yet, he knew it was her.

_I can't believe I'm finally sending this now. It hasn't even been __that__ long but it feels like an eternity… two years, right? Almost three. _

Yes, it's been five years since he last saw her. It ended so painfully.

_I want to start off by apologizing for everything I've ever put you through._

Beck Oliver met Cat Valentine at just the beginning of high school. They were friends – that is all. Just as the rest of the gang, they sort of just clicked. They had a unique friendship though; a strange one, at that. Where to start? Yes, Beck dated Jade and yes, Cat went on a few of her own dates – but the friendship Beck and Cat shared was a little more then that. No one knew it, they didn't even know it, but every single word said to each other only brought them a little closer.

_When I look back at it, I get so fucking mad at myself because I was just so wrong about dealing with everything._

Until one day, the two took notice to it. Mr. Sikowitz had paired them up as partners for a project. It was a project that had to be worked on outside of school, so as the norm, Cat went over to Beck's RV to rehearse lines and whatnot. Their project had consisted of a married couple's last fight before a divorce. They were supposed to put in as much emotion as an actor could. Cat's line, "_You, you drive me crazy! I _loved _you, but you broke my heart!" _Then Beck's line, "_I still do love you! It's you, _you_ broke my heart!" _And then they didn't say their next lines. Beck stepped forward, something that wasn't part of the script, and brushed a long strand of red hair out of Cat's face.

_But Beck, I'm not the only bad guy. You did some wrong things too._

And then he kissed her. He kissed her with more emotion he thinks he's ever used in his whole entire life. And in that moment he realized that every smile, wave, comment, _anything, _that he got from Cat – had a _meaning. _He felt so many pure emotions that overcame him once his lips touched hers, like it was something he's been yearning to do. She pulled away, "Beck, that's not part of the script." Then there was silence, which didn't last long, because one pleading look into each other's eyes – and they were one again. It had to be the most powerful kiss either of them shared, ever. He led her back onto the bed and things only went uphill from there. Their project, Jade, their friends, and Mr. Sikowitz had completely left their minds in that moment.

_It was you who brewed up the whole issue. But I really can't hate you for it. I was so gullible back then – so vulnerable, so immature._

They failed the project. Cat refused to even _look _Beck in the eye after their night in his RV – which, yes, did lead to certain things neither of them ever experienced. Every text, every call: she ignored. She would stare down at the message and just stare, allowing the light of the phone to burn her eyes until the screen went black from being idle. And every call she would let just ring. She would listen to the ring tone and watch _Beck Oliver _blink on her phone rapidly until he had no choice but to hang up. He never left a message though, and Cat didn't understand why, but she pushed that thought out of her mind because it really didn't matter. Days went by, then weeks, then eventually a whole month of no interaction between Cat and Beck. No one took complete notice to it because no one really had enough mind to actually put any thought into it. Whenever they would all be together, Cat would find a reason to talk to anyone but Beck – even if it was Rex.

_You took my virginity though, you took my innocence. I was so scared of you. You took the one good thing from my past that I had left and you just took it like you could. But me – being the absentminded girl I am – didn't realize that I took your innocence too._

It came to the point where Beck had no choice but to force her to talk to him. He waited outside of school, right where he knows Cat walks in, and when he didn't see her, he waited inside. He didn't bother to go to class when the last bell rang because he knew Cat would be coming in late. He was right. There she was, beautifully done red waves bouncing with each step she took, and then they stopped. They stopped bouncing once she noticed Beck – the only person in that hallway. She turned around as if he didn't see her but he jogged up and got in front of her. "Cat," said Beck, "talk to me, _please._"

She smiled and shrugged, "I don't think there's much to talk about.

"Come on," he grabbed her hand and pulled her to a bench. "I really need to talk to you."

"I'm late for class," she squealed, never lifting her feet off the ground as Beck pulled her across the hall. "I'm late for class, I'm late for class, I'm late for class." She repeated.

He finally got her to sit down. "Why have you been ignoring me?"

"I haven't been ignoring you."

"Cat."

"Beck."

"Please look at me."

She refused to make eye contact with him. That is, until he forced her to – lifting her chin and locking eyes with her.

"Beck I have nothing to say to you." Cat whispered.

"That night," he said. "I don't want you to –"

"Stop," she demanded. "You have a _girlfriend!_ What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he groaned.

She stood up and Beck pulled her back down. "Please, Cat."

"We had sex," she whispered so quietly that no one could have heard. "Why should I talk to you when you used me for that?"

"I was a virgin."

"Yeah," She said. "Before Jade."

"No, Cat," he said. "You were my first."

She seemed shocked, but her answer proved that wrong. "I probably wasn't your last."

Then their eyes locked again and suddenly they weren't in the hallway anymore. They were behind the closed door of the supply closet, heavy breathing and lips smacking. They knew it was wrong.

_I've broken so many rules when I was with you. I used to say you invented a new Cat Valentine. _

Three. Long. Months. Jade and Beck, Beck and Jade – _Bade _for crying out loud. Whatever the name, they were still there. Still there while a little animal flew through the hallways and nope, no one ever saw it. It was a _Bat _– Beck and yes, you guessed right, Cat. Since the day in the supply closet, their friendship grew incredibly closer, even their friends took notice to that. They would hangout on their own time, have new inside jokes, and always walk in the hallway together – _only when Jade wasn't around. _They were being so bad. They knew it, too. But they couldn't help themselves. They met every night, before or after Jade, and reenacted the first night ever. They snuck around school hallways doing things that shouldn't be done in such a PDA free zone. They had late night conversations on the phone. They did everything Beck and Jade should have been doing. Why was Jade still around? Well, if Beck had ended things with Jade, he still couldn't be with Cat. It was just commonsense… who would go for _Bat _anyways? So instead of starting a feud, a riot, they decided to keep whatever it is that they had on the DL.

_But now I say you just knocked down my walls, pulling out the __real__ Cat Valentine. As bad as we were, Beck, it was __great__. Not to be so explicit, but the sex was great, the conversations were great, our friendship was great, it was all just great. But karma has a funny way of working itself out. _

Beck and Cat would joke about their secret. They couldn't believe how oblivious their friends had been – especially Jade. The hickeys that weren't hers, how could she not see it? Beck and Cat of course felt bad. Not only were they lying to Jade but they were lying to their best friends too. But every good thing comes to an end, right?

"Strange," said Andre. They all sat at the lunch table together. Jade on Beck's lap, Cat pulling at Rex's shirt, Robbie and Andre exchanging looks, and Tori picking at her salad.

"What?" Tori asked, obviously interested on what Robbie and Andre were secretly talking about.

"Cat," Robbie said with a snicker. "Have you been seeing someone without telling us?"

All eyes fell on Cat, who had a killer talent in acting, as she smiled coyly and said, "Nope, what makes you say so?"

She didn't realize that her actions from last night plus the shirt she chose to wear today equals a _bad _combo.

"That little hickey seems to be telling me differently," Andre laughed, not holding back on anything he had to say.

"You know," Robbie said, reclining in his chair, "Beck has a pretty similar hickey too."

"Have you guys been double-dating?" Andre asked, eyeing Cat, Beck, and Jade.

Jade loosened herself out of Beck's grip and moved the collar of his shirt over a bit. Her eyes widened. "B-Beck," she stuttered out. "I didn't give you this…."

"Oh, my God," Tori muttered.

"Wait, wait a second," Jade jumped from Beck's lap. "Have you been… with… Cat?"

Beck and Cat locked eyes. It couldn't get worse from here. Beck looked down sheepishly and Cat whispered a very faint, "Yes."

_Slap _right across Beck's face from a very angry Jade, who stormed away right after.

Yes, it could get worse from here.

_God, Beck, I was so, so, so humiliated. I can't believe we let it go that far. We had nothing afterwards. _

A full month went by and the only people Beck and Cat had were each other. Sure, Tori, Andre, and Robbie found a way to forgive them – but it didn't feel right. Jade, well Jade changed her views on, well – life. She changed her clothes, her hair, her friends, and her career choice. Beck would watch from afar and in that moment he was supposed to feel guilt but nope, not guilty _at all. _

_We thought finally being able to put our "relationship" in the open was going to be a good thing. I really, really wanted it to be a good thing, because that's when I started to realize I loved you. _

The night Cat brought liquor to her mouth was the night when everything went downhill. Thought it couldn't have gotten worse, right?

Wrong.

Two more months passed and Cat was sucked into the wrong group of friends after everything. Of course, Beck was still there, but they couldn't spend _every _moment together. She hung out with the girls and guys who thought only alcohol and sex could make a hangout fun. They sucked Cat in because they knew how vulnerable she was. In addition, a _huge _lightweight.

A few shots of Patron and she was wrecked. That first night. She did some things she shouldn't have, some things that even though Beck was known as a cheater, he wouldn't have done it to Cat. Beck really came to love Cat, unlike anything he's ever felt before. And he trusted her even though he barely trusted himself. He confided in her. He just loved her.

"Becky," Cat slurred as she fell through his RV door.

His stomach churned. That night, he found out Cat gave a blowjob to one of the "cool kids", as Cat put it.

_And it's true though, I really did love you. But the alcohol, oh the alcohol, it liked to tell me different. It liked to tell me that I liked having guys take advantage of me. But really, all I wanted was you. _

She promised it was only a one time thing and that she was so, so sorry.

She lied.

_I don't know why I even did it again, Beck. You trusted me enough to be with me after I did what I did and I only go back to do it again. And again. And again._

And again. And again. And again.

Drink after drink after drink, boy after boy after boy, apology after apology after apology.

Beck couldn't take it.

It was senior year when he just _left. _

_I couldn't believe it when you left. A week before graduation and you weren't even here to graduate because I was such a coldhearted bitch. _

"Beck Oliver,"

No one came up to receive the diploma that he was very likely to get. Cat cried and never _ever _touched liquor again. It only fucked her up.

She took that realization too late.

_I know I should have just left you alone and that's what I did but I __knew__ there was going to be a day – yes, a day like today – where my emotions, my feelings, were going to be too much and I just needed to let all of my apologies out. So I went to find out where you're going. I knew your mom, she loved me, she loved me because she knew the old Cat Valentine. Before __you__ broke down my walls._

The moment after graduation, Cat ran to Beck's house. Still in her gown and pumps, diploma in one hand and graduation cap in the other. She ran until she got there and rang the bell nervously. After a brief talk with the much stressed Mrs. Oliver, Cat found out Beck had gone to live with his grandma. Mrs. Oliver told Cat, "I don't know what it was, honey, but it was something bad. He's a very mature man and if he doesn't want me to know," – sniffle – "Then it's not any of my business."

_She gave me this address and told me if I get in touch with you then I should let her know. I haven't spoken to her since. _

_I'm changed, Beck, I haven't had alcohol since the last time you caught me. But it doesn't matter now. The only thing that fucking matters is you. You are so amazing and you deserve only the best. I'm not the best, I'm not asking for you back, but I can't hold this in anymore. You're the only person who gets me. I still love you as much as I do the moment you placed your lips on mine in your RV. God, I miss you so much. I miss you so much it hurts. I need you – it's so hard to go on without you. But this is it now. I know you are probably moved on, because you are __Beck Oliver__, how can you not be moved on? I just wanted to let you know that any guy that I've gotten with during our relationship doesn't even come close to you. No one did. No one will. I am truly, sincerely sorry from the bottom of my cold, cold heart and I just want to let you know that I will NEVER forget you… even if I tried. _

_I'm sorry. _

_Love you always, _

_ Cat Valentine_

Tears stained the paper once Beck finished reading it. He glanced over to his nightstand – a picture where Beck and Cat hugged happily. Yes, Beck Oliver was _still _in love with Cat Valentine. And no, Beck Oliver has _not _been with any other girl since Cat Valentine.

With shaky hands, he leaned over and grabbed a notebook and pen. After a deep breath and steadying his thoughts, he began to write:

_Dear Cat. _


End file.
